Once again, I have a ton to say. But I do not want to babble on incessantly. So I will have to file some topics away for discussion at a later time.
One thing I will come back to once I have done a little more with it is all natural beauty products. I want to try using some homemade (read: cheap) beauty products. So far, I am looking at shampoo, face wash, and hand scrub. I am curious to see where this will go. I am not sure if it will be life altering, or just a fad that I will have outgrown by next month. But I will keep you posted.
Mostly what is on my mind these days is weight loss. I started weight watchers about 10 weeks ago. So far, I have lost 10 lb. That is over 5% of my body weight, which I feel pretty good about. But, if I am being honest, I know I have not tried my hardest. And I still look in the mirror and get depressed.
And so, recently, I have started asking myself "how bad do you want it?" This question refers to the weight loss, not whatever I am thinking of eating or doing at the moment. It stands to reason that if I stop and reflect on how badly I want to achieve a specific goal, it should motivate me to work harder to reach said goal.
And what it boils down to is: I want it badly. I want to wear clothes confidently, not always tugging at this or trying to hide that. I want to feel attractive for my husband. I want to stop staring at my stomach when I pass a mirror.
A while back, my friend posted a picture of me on facebook. I was standing in between three gorgeous ladies, all taller than me with amazing figures. And I was short and dumpy looking. The picture literally made me cry.
This is what I refer back to when I feel that losing weight requires too much discipline. I am tired of being ashamed.
I need to lose 8 lb to reach 10%. I really want to do this by New Years.
How bad do you want it?
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