beauty for ashes

22 November 2011

How bad do you want it?

Once again, I have a ton to say.  But I do not want to babble on incessantly.  So I will have to file some topics away for discussion at a later time.
One thing I will come back to once I have done a little more with it is all natural beauty products.  I want to try using some homemade (read: cheap) beauty products.  So far, I am looking at shampoo, face wash, and hand scrub.  I am curious to see where this will go.  I am not sure if it will be life altering, or just a fad that I will have outgrown by next month. But I will keep you posted.
Mostly what is on my mind these days is weight loss.  I started weight watchers about 10 weeks ago.  So far, I have lost 10 lb.  That is over 5% of my body weight, which I feel pretty good about.  But, if I am being honest, I know I have not tried my hardest.  And I still look in the mirror and get depressed.
And so, recently, I have started asking myself "how bad do you want it?"  This question refers to the weight loss, not whatever I am thinking of eating or doing at the moment.  It stands to reason that if I stop and reflect on how badly I want to achieve a specific goal, it should motivate me to work harder to reach said goal.
And what it boils down to is: I want it badly.  I want to wear clothes confidently, not always tugging at this or trying to hide that.  I want to feel attractive for my husband.  I want to stop staring at my stomach when I pass a mirror.
A while back, my friend posted a picture of me on facebook.  I was standing in between three gorgeous ladies, all taller than me with amazing figures.  And I was short and dumpy looking.  The picture literally made me cry.

This is what I refer back to when I feel that losing weight requires too much discipline.  I am tired of being ashamed.
I need to lose 8 lb to reach 10%.  I really want to do this by New Years.
How bad do you want it?

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